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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

7 Little Things That Make Life Effortless ...

7 Little Things That Make Life Effortless


Post written by Leo Babauta.

Life can be a huge struggle, most of the time, and for years it was a struggle for me.


I’ve gradually been learning what causes that struggle, and what works in making life easier, better, smoother.


Life can feel effortless, like you’re gliding along, if you learn to swim smoothly, to glide, to stop fighting the waters of life and start using them to buoy you up.


I stopped thrashing and fighting, and started gliding and enjoying the swim.

I’ve written a new book on this topic, called The Effortless Life, which I should be publishing digitally next week. Some interesting things about this book:




  • It was written publicly, on a public Google Doc, while the world watch. That was tremendously fun — normally writing is a solitary act, but with technology I was able to make it a public act.

  • I allowed the world to edit it, as I wrote. That was incredibly scary, giving up control as a writer. When I was done, I had written it in a blur, as everyone edited it … and so I had no idea what changes had been made. I thought I should figure out what changes were made, and whether to keep them or not … but then I just decided to go with the wisdom of the crowd, and kept it as is.

  • It’s a compendium of some of the most important things I’ve been learning recently. It builds on some of the things from my previous books, The Power of Less and Focus, but takes them further.

  • I will allow readers to buy it at any price you like. I will set up a donation model — pay what you think it’s worth, and what you can afford.

More about this later. For now, I thought I’d share a few things you can do today, to make life feel more effortless.


Take what you want from this list. I find these things work, but your mileage will vary.


1. Do less. This is my productivity mantra, and it’s counterintuitive. I actually don’t believe in productivity, but instead believe in doing the important things. Do less, and you’ll force yourself to choose between what’s just busywork, and what really matters. Life then becomes effortless, as you accomplish big things while being less busy.


2. Having less is lighter. Start asking yourself if you really need everything you have, or if you just have it out of fear. Start to let go of what you have, so it doesn’t own you. And then, as you have less, you feel lighter. It’s wonderful.


3. Let the little things go. People who struggle often fight over little things. We obsess over things that don’t really matter. We create resistance instead of letting things glide off us. Let the little things go, breathe, and move on to the important things.


4. Clean as you go. I haven’t written about this for a long time, but early in the life of Zen Habits I wrote about the habit of cleaning as you go. Instead of letting the cleaning pile up, put things away when you’re done. Wash your bowl. Wipe the counters clean as you pass them. Sweep up dirt when you notice it. By cleaning a little bit at a time, as you make messes, cleaning up becomes a breeze, and it’s never difficult. By the way, this applies to everything in life, not just cleaning.


5. Make small, gradual changes. Most people are too impatient to follow this advice — they want to do everything at once. We have so many changes to make, but we don’t want to wait a year for it all to happen. As a result, we often fail, and then feel crappy about it. Or we don’t start at all, because so many big changes is intimidating and overwhelming. I’ve learned the hard way that small changes are incredibly powerful, and they last longer. Gradual change leads to huge change, but slowly, and in a way that sticks. And it’s effortless.


6. Learn to focus on the things that matter. This is implied in the items above, but it’s so important I have to emphasize it. Swimming (or any physical activity for that matter) is best done when you do only the motions that matter, and eliminate the extraneous motions. Stop thrashing, start becoming more efficient and fluid. You do this by learning what matters, and cutting out the wasted activity.


7. Be compassionate. This makes dealing with others much more effortless. It also makes you feel better about yourself. People like you more, and you improve the lives of others. Make every dealing with another human being one where you practice compassion.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Friday, September 9, 2011

Sparkle ...

"I am like a falling star

who has finally found her place

next to another in a lovely constellation,

where we will sparkle in the heavens forever." -

Amy Tan

Photo ©2011 Patti Ramos Photography
All rights reserved.

Form and beauty ...

"Birth is an experience that demonstrates

not only function and utility,

but form and beauty."

-Christopher LargenPhoto ©2011 Patti Ramos Photography.

All rights reserved.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Have an October or November due date?

If you have an October or November due date
and would like to attend an inspiring, fun and empowering childbirth preparation
workshop with an emphasis on nurturing your relationship with your partner ...

please come and join us in the upcoming
September 17th and 18th "Birth Preparation Workshop"

featuring the memorable "Ice Journey" labor simulation
Hours: 10:00am - 6:00pm both days
$285.00 per couple
You may register here:
www.pattiramos.com/workshopregistration.html

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Andy B., M.D. ~ "As a physician and second time father, I was skeptical about our need for another birth preparation class. However, the Birth Preparation Workshop ended up being one of the most valuable classes I have ever attended. I have never seen or heard of anything as effective as the "Ice Journey" at allowing a father to experience some of the emotions of birth. I was deeply touched by this and feel that it made me a much more effective birth partner and perhaps even a better doctor. Patti's presentation of factual information and specific techniques were also very cogent and effective. I highly recommend this class."



Karen B. ~ "This weekend was the perfect mix of factual information, hands-on techniques, experiential preparation and relationship building. As a second time mom, I had taken birthing classes before and was looking for something more than just a review of comfort techniques. The intense "Ice Journey" allowed me to work through issues remaining from my first birth, and to prepare my husband and I as a couple for the birth to come. We found it immensely empowering and the springboard for much further discussion and reflection. The weekend as a whole gave us a rare opportunity to focus on the foundation of our family and our relationship. Patti is a highly skilled group facilitator and it was wonderful to share this journey with her and the other couples in the class."



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Home is wherever I'm with you ...

This is LOVE ...



Saturday, August 6, 2011

August 27th "Labor Tools and Techniques Workshop"

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If you have a September or October due date, we have two openings available in the
August 27th "Labor Tools and Techniques Workshop"

featuring the "Ice Journey" labor simulation

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"Tools" for your "Labor Basket"

Photos Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos




Faith and Strength


Endurance and Laughter


Create a peaceful, relaxing nest and then insist on privacy when you need it



Make every breath count and labor where you feel safest and the least inhibited


Let the tears freely flow and share your gratitude for one another



Surrender to the power - keep an open mind - care compassionately

Rejoice -- Trust -- Visualize -- Dream

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Wrap it all up with an abundance of Commitment and LOVE

"Birth is one day in your life ... don't miss it!

*The above photos, except for the last, were taken during Patti's "Birth Preparation Workshop/Ice Journey"

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Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July!

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Fireworks ~ Lake Union

All photos Copyright ©2011 Patti Ramos

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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Father's Day ... I miss you Papa

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Three days before my Father passed away ...



During this Father's Day ...

my thoughts, tears and gratitude flow from the love

I have in my heart for my precious Papa.

How blessed I was to have a Father who loved me unconditionally

and always with respect, kindness and a hilarious sense of humor.

He loved life, his family and adored his wife ... my Mother.

Never a day passed, without Pop saying

"We have FUN don't we?"

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During his final hours, I held him in my arms, singing his favorite song ...

telling him over and over how much I loved him and that I was truly

the luckiest daughter in the world to have been raised by such a GREAT man.

What a beautiful experience it was for me to be at my Father's side,

as not only his daughter, but also as his Doula ...

during the final hours of his amazing life on this earth.

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Mama and Papa lived on a beautiful farm in Chehalis, Washington

inhabited by horses, cows, chickens, dogs, cats

and whatever other critter made the farm their home.

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Pop "throwing" my daughter onto the pony. (1983)

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This song is so close to home ...

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I LOVE YOU PAPA!

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Cesarean Support Group Meeting - "Restore Your Core"

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We are here to provide support, friendship, sharing of birth stories, resources, understanding and informaton for those who are about to, or have already experienced a cesarean. It is a safe and nurturing place to share your story and express your feelings. Information will be available that will help you plan for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), if that is a possibility, as well as find VBAC providers in the community. If it is necessary for you to give birth by cesarean for the first time, or as a repeat, information will be available on how to create the best possible cesarean scenario/experience.

In addition to mothers and fathers, our meetings are open to doulas, birth educators, midwives, nurses and physicians.


Location:

The new Tacoma Pregnancy, Birth and Family Education Center

7406 27th Street West, Suite 301 (Plaza West Building)

Tacoma, WA 98466


Date and Time:

June 18th from 6:00-9:00pm



Guest speaker:

Dani Hemmat, Licensed Tupler Technique Provider



June 18th Meeting Topic: Restore Your Core (Mummy Tummy)


Diastasis Recti. A dirty word in Latin? No, but it should be. Diastasis recti is what happens when pregnancy spreads apart the outer abdominals, leaving a pooch, or "mummy tummy". It's a condition that can't be cured by Pilates or stomach crunches, but can be healed by using the Tupler Technique. Dani Hemmat, of Restore Your Core Fitness, will be presenting a brief overview of this groundbreaking technique, developed by Julie Tupler, RN and Childbirth Educator. Restore Your Core also provides Perfect Pushing workshops, utilizing the Tupler Technique to help with a speedy delivery and quicker post-partum recovery. Hemmat is a licensed Tupler Technique Provider and NASM-Certified Personal Trainer with an emphasis in Prenatal/Postpartum exercise. www.RestoreYourCoreFitness.com


Please RSVP - lydiasparks@ymail.com


If you are on Facebook, you can "like" The Tacoma Pregnancy, Birth and Family Education Center page where you will see ongoing event updates.


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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Water your soul ...

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"Let your tears come. Let them water your soul."

~ Eileen Mayhew


Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.


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Saturday, June 4, 2011

The miracle of life ...

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As I witness the arrival of each newly born baby,

this helps to explain why, for over 35 years and 2000 births,

I continue to stand in awe of the miracle of life.



Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.
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Friday, June 3, 2011

Sunset sky ...

"Clouds come floating into my life,

no longer to carry rain or usher storm,

but to add color to my sunset sky.



Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.


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National Doughnut Day!


National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers.


Soon after the US entrance into World War I in 1917, the Salvation Army sent a fact-finding mission to France. The mission concluded that the needs of US enlisted men could be met by canteens/social centers termed "huts" that could serve baked goods, provide writing supplies and stamps, and provide a clothes-mending service. Typically, six staff members per hut would include four female volunteers who could "mother" the boys. These huts were established by the Salvation Army in the United States near army training centers.


About 250 Salvation Army volunteers went to France. Because of the difficulties of providing freshly baked goods from huts established in abandoned buildings near to the front lines, two Salvation Army volunteers (Ensign Margaret Sheldon and Adjutant Helen Purviance) came up with the idea of providing doughnuts. These are reported to have been an "instant hit", and "soon many soldiers were visiting Salvation Army huts". Margaret Sheldon wrote of one busy day "Today I made 22 pies, 300 doughnuts, 700 cups of coffee."


A legend has spread that the provision of doughnuts to US enlisted men in World War I is the origin of the term doughboy to describe US infantry, but the term was in use as early as the Mexian-American War of 1846-47. It is still a fund raiser run by The Salvation Army.



The U.S. consumes over 10 billion doughnuts each year.




Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.
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A black hole where women's dignity is destroyed ...



Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day ...

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"Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war."

~Albert Einstein







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Photos Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos.

All rights reserved.

Please no copying, reproduction or transfer without permission from Patti Ramos.
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Friday, May 20, 2011

Jeweled balm ...

"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes,
and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit.
A few of those days and you can become drunk
with the belief that all's right with the world."
~Ada Louise Huxtable

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Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.

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Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Cried For You ...

Ken Gore

July 31, 1951 - May 14, 2011



.Rest in peace my kind friend
So many treasured memories that make me cry out for you ...
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http://youtu.be/4Fr5-16ZnPM

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You're beautiful so silently
It lies beneath a shade of blue
It struck me so violently
When I looked at you

But others pass, they never pause
To feel that magic in your hand
To me you're like a wild rose
They never understand why

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

I'll cross the sea for a different world
With your treasure, a secret for me to hold

In many years they may forget
This love of ours or that we met
They may not know
How much you meant to me

I cried for you
And the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

Without you now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away
But in my heart you'll always stay

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper
That beauty need only be a whisper



I love you Kennyo


P.S. Please give my Papa a big hug for me.

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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

"Quiet Ecstasy" ...

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A Song, a Baby, the Congo, and a Meeting


by Jodilyn Owen


In Helen Reddy’s anthem to female power, I Am Woman, she sings about standing toe to toe while “I spread my loving arms across the land.” Standing toe to toe is a boxing term, which draws to mind the picture of two people squared up to each other, facing each other directly from the tips of their foreheads all the way down to their toes. She is singing about embracing the world with love from a place of power and strength that is deeply rooted. Driving home from work in the early hours of a rainy Seattle morning this song came on the radio. I focused on the road ahead but my arms and hands had all of my heart-attention. I wondered if my appendages could possibly reach lovingly across the land? Only a few hours prior to this drive, my hands had received a new life into this world. I could still feel the warmth and softness of a wet baby girl born to a mother I had come to know and love over the course of several years. I could feel the mother’s hands on top of mine as I laid the baby on her chest and slowly eased my hands out of their space leaving the mother/baby dyad in a quiet ecstasy. As a midwife, by the time I am at a birth I have worked for hours and hours with families. I know mom’s dreams and her fears. I know her body and her baby. I know her favorite songs and what makes her cranky. She knows my stories and my affection for newborns. My work is about developing meaningful, joyful relationships. My work is about watching women become mothers. When I look at women, I see their power, strength, and fortitude. I know what is lying dormant inside of an expecting mother and relish the process of working with her while she uncovers her greatest truths. The particular birth that had me thinking warm fuzzy thoughts about my hands moved me in a very new way. The birth of this baby girl stunned me in its beauty for a very simple reason: For the entirety of the pregnancy, this mother of three boys had pined for and talked about the little girl she just knew was growing within. She had no proof of it. She spent her pregnant days sending dreamy pink wishes to her belly. She spoke of shopping excursions and cute shoes, dresses, and ponytails. We planned ahead so that at the birth we would leave the discovery of the sex to mom and dad. The baby was born quickly with no drama whatsoever. As I saw the head and face I thought to myself, “Oh my, that is a distinctly feminine face. If that is a boy, he is very pretty indeed.” The baby slipped into my hands, and I swooped it up to mom’s chest. There, I felt her hands cover mine and just as quickly replace mine against the heat of that new body. I left the two of them to their quiet, multi-sensory discovering of each other. After she took a deep breath and sighed, mom looked down and lifted one of the legs to see for herself about the sex of this baby. She yelled out, “Is it? Is that!? It’s a vagina!!!” and with that she let out a yelp of joy akin to very few I have heard in my life. Her husband and mother-in-law joined in and her midwives, myself included, gave laughs and shouts of delight that matched the mother’s. We cheered this little baby girl as if she just won the big high school game! What I came to realize a few hours later is that this baby was born into a loving room full of people cheering about the existence of her vagina—the very base of her biological self, her second heart. Her vagina: a source of pleasure and purpose for women who stand with power and move with love. I drew my breath in awe over the fact that she was received in such a meaningful way and wondered about a life based on the celebration of girl and womanhood. I wondered about a society where the essence of the female self is cheered from the deepest place of honor and joy. When I arrived home I took a long look at my sleeping sixteen-year-old daughter and sent her silent celebratory thoughts. She is the essence of standing with power and moving with love. I learned a lesson from a new mother about how we celebrate our daughters that morning. Watching my own daughter sleeping that sound teenage-sleep, I could see her all at once as she looked those first moments I held and sniffed her, and appreciate all she has become and will one day be. I saw the unfolding of a young woman discovering her own truths and kissed her forehead with deep affection for the hard work of it all. This summer I will spend several weeks overseas working with birthing mothers and new babies. When I was searching for the right clinical placement I came across the opportunity to work in The Democratic Republic of the Congo. The woman who places volunteers explained that they do not need birth workers as much as they need mothers for the hundreds and hundreds of young girls, right around my own daughter’s age, who are used as weapons of war. They are raped by soldiers with AIDS and left with babies, HIV, and fractured families and tribes. Many of the girls will not live, and even fewer of their babies will survive. There are women all over the world who are deprived of everything we think of with regards to being a woman. They are denied education, shunned, neglected, raped, or even sold into slavery. My thoughts about celebrating girlhood and women suddenly felt luxurious. What life do we lead that we have the time to even talk about these ideas of the higher self? I was actually looking at my daughter while this phone conversation occurred. I felt a profound loss for all of the mothers who were denied the opportunity to squeal with delight over the birth of a daughter and for the pure miracle by which my own daughter arrived in my life. As I watched her walking through the house I realized that the best shot we have of women all over the globe coming into their own health may lie with the whole-hearted celebration of the women around us. If we are to get our loving arms across the land, we must first embrace ourselves and our daughters from a place of education and celebration. The potential for global women’s health rises exponentially if we raise girls who know and understand their own womanhood. Girls who embrace their most basic biology and their highest spiritual selves from a holistic perspective. Girls who are so familiar with womanhood that they will recognize it wherever they travel, regardless of the packaging. Girls who create healthy and meaningful friendships and partnerships with the men in their lives. These are girls who will grow to create a world where all women will have the luxury of celebrating each other. I made a commitment to pause and celebrate the women I come into contact with daily: at work, at the market, while cheering on my kids as they play basketball. It doesn’t take more than a glance and a thought and bit of intention. It is a silent and internal act. At a recent meeting with eight other midwives, I caught myself smiling for no apparent reason. I thought to myself, “You must look like a dork with that goofy grin on your face!” and pulled myself upright, straightening out. I realized I had been silently scanning the room and celebrating each woman there unconsciously. I had the yelps of delight from that birth coursing through my head as I looked at each woman there. I relaxed back into the chair and inhaled deeply, let that grin slide back onto my face and cheered for the women I love, the women I work with, and the women I share this earth with.
Jodilyn Owen is a wife, mother, midwife, seasoned doula, and educator who has attended hundreds of births. She specialized in newborn assessment and observation through the Brazelton Institute of Harvard Medical School and Boston Children’s Hospital. Jodilyn has been published in Midwifery Today and the Women’s Wisdom Circle, and has spoken at Bastyr University for Natural Medicine and two Trust Birth Conferences. She will spend this summer working with mothers and babies on the tiny island nation of Vanuatu. Note: If you’re interested in working in the Congo or connecting with organizations that do, go to http://www.ngoabroad.com/


Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.

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Friday, April 22, 2011

Can't?

During her pushing stage, the mama was positioned on her hands and knees.


The obstetrician (who personally experienced two cesarean births)


entered the birthing room and immediately said,


"Babies can't come out in that position!"


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I beg to differ.


They can.


They do.


And they have from the beginning of time.


Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.

Earth Day ...

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time."
-Motto at the Baltimore Grotto

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Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos


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A perfect day ...

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Congratulations Bethany, Ryan and Azalea!
Happy *birth*day to Azalea's 10 pound 11 ounce baby sister


.who arrived yesterday afternoon into the waiting arms of her strong, determined Mama.


Bethany labored in a birthing tub in her cozy home



surrounded by sunshine, organic food, music and her incredibly loving, supportive husband.
If ever there was a perfect day for that beautiful family and their birth team -
April 21st was it!

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Photos Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos and Lydia Sparks. All rights reserved.

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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Accepting applications for apprentice doula

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My wonderful, hard-working, dependable, fabulous apprentice - Jen Hook (in the photo) - has completed her one year doula apprenticeship and as a result of her amazing dedication, commitment, dependability, expertise, wisdom and LOVE for doula work, she is now my full fledged doula partner! You, being my partner Jen, is a dream come true.

Consequently, the apprentice position is open once again and I am ready to schedule interviews with those of you who are interested in this tremendous opportunity.

The apprenticeship requires a 9-12 month commitment to fully experience a doula's role and responsibility, which includes interviews, birth plan meetings, assisting in the Birth Prep Workshop, attending births, debriefings, postpartum visits, monthly doula meetings, the monthly cesarean support group meetings and more. It involves being on call 24 hours a day and sometimes dropping everything in a moment's notice to take off for a birth that is going fast. You are not required to be on call 24/7 for an entire year. If you need to occasionally go off call for other commitments, that is perfectly acceptable.

We meet at my office in Tacoma on an average of 5-10 hours a week for client consultations, replying to emails, phone calls, filing and office/computer work. We attend hospital, home and birthcenter births in the Seattle, Bellevue, Renton, Tacoma, Puyallup, Bremerton and Olympia areas. Our clients include teens, lesbian couples, mothers desiring a VBAC, military couples giving birth at Madigan, families experiencing a stillbirth, adoptions, single mothers, those giving birth to twins/triplets, scheduled cesarean births and high risk clients.

The apprentice assists with an average of 25 births in a 6-9 month period. With each client their "package" includes the get acquainted meeting, the birth plan meeting, being on call, the birth itself (however long it takes), a labor/birth journal, photography, phone follow-ups and often times, one or more postpartum home visits. On a rare occasion, you would be the 1st person on call if Jen and I are not readily available. There is no financial compensation to the apprentice since this is considered an educational opportunity without having to pay tuition, where you acquire a vast amount of training and experience with a doula who has been practicing for 35 years - having attended over 2000 births and is one of Bates Technical College's original doula trainers.

(Photo of wonderful Jennifer Wildflower - former apprentice - doing the double hip squeeze)


If you are interested and able to fulfill the above requirements, please contact me at birthpreparation@aol.com so that I can send you an application form and schedule your interview.
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Here is an enlightening explanation of how a doula sets her fees and why: www.pattiramos.com/doulafees.html

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Jen Hook's testimonial:

"Before I sat down to compose this testimony, I went back to read the journal entry I wrote after the first birth I went to with Patti. It is hard to believe that it has only been a year that I have been in this world of birthing with her. What I have learned in that amount of time feels like it should have taken several years.


Early May 2010, I was standing in my kitchen talking with my husband about the opportunity to apprentice with Patti Ramos. She and Jennifer Wildflower had been our doulas for our second baby who was birthed by way of VBAC. My youngest child was only 6 months old and nursing exclusively. I felt there were so many reasons why I should not commit to an apprenticeship at the time, but everything in me was on fire to do so.


It required the help of many…a small doula-supportive village, to learn all the things I wanted and needed to learn from this doula of doulas. I knew I could not pick and choose what I wanted to be a part of, I needed to be fully immersed into the doings of a doula…that meant interviews, birth plan meetings, being on call, Birth Preparation Workshops, births, postpartum calls, postpartum visits, office work, birth journals, and still run my home, raise my family and do so on a lot less sleep…the sacrifice and commitment of many.


Honestly, after walking with Patti into this sacred place, I feel like I have come home. I have reached a different space inside myself that I never knew was there. I feel like the apprenticeship birthed a new and better woman, mother, wife and friend. There is so much more to learn from Patti than just the “how-to” of this holy profession. She holds a depth of wisdom, love and compassion that is pure and amazing. This opportunity is beyond what one would ever get from a traditional birth doula class/workshop. To see how she can connect with another human, gain the trust of others, know from moment to moment what is needed without cue, to be completely present and selfless, professionally conducted and respected by others is quite astounding. The apprenticeship, in short, is an opportunity of a life-time…something that could never be packaged or bought for. It is a supreme honor to serve and work beside a woman of this inspirational worth."


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Monday, April 4, 2011

... be out of yourself

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"To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful." ~Agnes De Mille .
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Photo Copyright 2011 Patti Ramos. All rights reserved.


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